Paul Klinke // February 10, 2010

There are few things in this world I hold sacred. David Hasselhoff’s reputation as the world’s greatest entertainer is one of them. This is why nothing irritates me more than when some commie, beef-cake moron two-steps his way onto The Hoff’s thunder. Touche Dolph Lundgren, the world didn’t realize you wail on the drums and have a commanding yet sensual singing voice. But punching and kicking stuff? Old news, buddy.

Hasselhoff can sing, dance, punch, kick, jog like a jock, and pimp a tux… plus, he’s tan! While Dolph was defending his massive nordic mates from wolves in the old country, The Hoff was turning down primetime tang left and right while simultaneously banging half the cast of Baywatch Season 4. It’s a no-brainer that The Hoff is the world’s greatest living entertainer, so why even step to this, Dolph? Sure, you’re all smiles in your Youtube video, but I own Rocky IV and I know what you’re really like. Dolph Lundgren keep your commie ass away from David Hasselhoff’s thunder!