Tobin Nageotte // August 12, 2009
Do any of you VO “actors” have a concept of time? Quick breakdown: Centuries divide into decades, decades to years, years to months, months to weeks, weeks to days, days to hours, hours to minutes, and (this is the tricky part, I know) minutes to seconds. If I send you a line read for 6 seconds, don’t send something back that lasts 9 seconds. It doesn’t work! It makes my life more difficult. Do you understand we have to re-cut the audio or worse, re-cut the edit…which opens an entire pandora’s box of client reviews, online revisions, graphic changes, etc. All this so you can roll your damn “Rrrrrrrrrrr” in that manufactured ostentatiousness? WTF?
I sent you line breakdowns. I gave you seconds AND frames to hit those breakdowns. You weren’t even close! Ohhh well, I’ll just cut these two lines of copy. Nobody mulled over the exact way to construct those sentences. No one pulled out the thesaurus, no one skipped lunch stressing over “direct” vs “non-stop.” You hold that “D” so well, let’s cut this crowd shot. That wasn’t tough to get.
It must be nice. Out there on your farm in Washington State. $450/hr to show up 15 minutes late. Why were you late? Was there traffic getting from the organic vegetable garden to your microphone? It’s okay, I’ll just wait here in this conference room and stare at the whiteboard. I’m sure you’ll have some quaint explanation about how wonderful the tomatoes are this time of year. I’m sure you’ll offer some witty way to say the tag line - “What if I try something more metered and profound?” No, jackass, just say the damn line.
Screw you “voice talent.” Buy a stopwatch.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:54 am
hes like a dirty uncle that you know is perving on you other family YUCK. I wonder if he can sound like a rapist