Tobin Nageotte // May 11, 2010

“Van egy szép folt a haj a felső ajak!”…Hungarian for: “You have a beautiful Moustache!”

Hello, Moustachette. Sorry for the absence. We’ve been holed up with the world’s most influential minds in an ultra-exclusive, undisclosed location trying to figure out how to release Moustachette to the world. We poured over distributors’ convoluted profit-sharing arrangements (I must say, Mr Weinstein, you are a shrewd cat.). We set up a pros/cons breakdown for the too-good-to-be-true studio deals rolling off the fax machines (Tom Cruise thought we were playing charades. Who invites Jerry Maguire to a 2 month brainstorming session?!). And we examined all the not-for-profit, cause-based possibilities (Bono sincerely had some good ideas…until he started touching our house pets inappropriately. I mean, we know you’re a big rock star, dude. But the ferret? Did you have to get all weird with the ferret?). And after all that time and money…we had nothing. Nothing, that is, until we went to the Vail Film Festival.

We got off the horn with Zach Braff and decided to rendezvous for the Moustachette screening in Vail. Over some apres ski cocktails, we explained our predicament to Mr Scrubs. He seemed concerned, but that guy has one of the foulest mouths of any moderately successful television actor we know and it’s sometimes hard to understand what he’s talking about. You’ve never heard someone use the C-word so many times in conversation; whether you’re talking about dog racing, the weekend’s expected snowfall, or how to release a short film…it’s all “C-this” and “C-that.” Crazy. He’s also very handsy in person. You have to constantly have your mitts guarding the beans around that SOB. And a partier, too. Once saw him force a hooker to scorch her back on a fireplace so he could freebase some black tar heroin off her tramp-stamp. Hilarious!

We digress…

Between the litany of caustics spewing from his mouth, Zach did give us an epiphany. “Headbands,” he said. “What? Like what the girls on The Hills wear?” we wondered. “No, you c—s!” he blasted. “Headbands. Like sweatbands. Rad headbands. Radbands.” And it was then, it all made sense. Headbands.

Moustachette will be released this summer and it will involve headbands. Rad headbands. It will be released online. Everyone, everywhere (even Hungary) will be able to see it. Between now and then, stay tuned. There are some goodies up our sleeves. Not unlike these goodies from Hungary…